And By God, I Really Tasted Something Swell

2009 was rough, there's no denying it. But as it comes to a close, remember this:

You got through it.

Here's to the next.

(via 1000 Awesome Things)

(This Year's Gonna be a Good, Good Year)

This Time Last Year...

Disgruntled usher: I swear by every god of Jupiter that these are your seats.

--The Ambassador Theatre, 49th & Broadway

(via Overheard in New York)

The Judge Who Allows Everything

Comedy Central Park	Watch more
John Mulaney - Law & Order
http://www.comedycentral.com/
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

The Miracle of Life

From Gothamist:

If you were thinking about giving up coffee in the new year: think again! The Wall Street Journal declares it might be saving your life. Seriously, they say if you drink two cups a day you'll even be less suicidal. Other scientific facts include: those drinking up to four cups a day are 25% less likely to develop Type 2 diabetes; men who drink at least six cups a day have a 60% lower risk of developing advanced prostate cancer; five cups a day can lower your risk of Alzheimer's by 65%... and so on. And all you're left with is a life-long addiction, and probably the shakes.

"You deduce that by removing your sunglasses to the strains of a Who song?"

No joke, I am really craving Velveeta Shells and Mac now.

This Must Be Tried

A way to make Yorkshire pudding without also having to make a roast? Sign me up.

Clearly, I Need a Trip to the Shore

I have been slow to investigate and (as is inevitable) embrace MTV's Jersey Shore but this video may have sealed the deal.

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

Guess what I'm doing over Christmas?

Did You Miss Me?

(via explodingdog)

It's Friendship, Friendship...Just the Perfect Blendship...

Of genuine affection and creepy stalking. Or, at least, in Facebook's case.

In light of the new "privacy" settings, Gawker has provided a useful little guide to getting some control back. Definitely worth a look.

Goodbye, England (Covered in Snow)

It's snowing in London today. Let's mark the occasion:

Today is Clearly Going to Be About Clothes I Can't Have/Wear But Covet Immensely

Like so. That dress is fantastic. The shoes...those I can live without.

Fact: I Hate Posh Spice...

....but damn.

Most of all, I want those shoes. And the ability to walk in them.

(Via Jezebel)

Maddow v. Cohen

Rachel Maddow and Richard Cohen, author of Coming Out Straight, a book being cited by proponents of the bill in Uganda to allow for the execution of gay people.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

All the Single Ladies (All the Single Ladies...)

Oh, man.

Five Pictures

Been relying too much on the word, lately and not enough on the image. Working off of today's photograph of a routemaster, here are five pieces by my favorite non-photography artists.

1. Georges Seurat, Au Concert Parisien

Sadly, this is not my favorite Seurat drawing. That would be one of a lone figure walking down a street under a streetlight that I saw as part of a visiting exhibition at the Peggy Guggenheim when I was 12. being 12, I didn't take the time to right down or commit to memory the name. Fie on me, I say. But this give you the general picture...the blurry edges, the figures barely coming out of the dark, and this one even has a theatrical element!

2. Edward Hopper, Rooms for Tourists

I think, at this point, it's pretty well established that (without necessarily being a particularly sad person), I do quite like sad things. This may be why Edward Hopper is my favorite artist. His pictures tend to be bright, bold and simple and yet somehow also lonely and heart breaking. They also are so rich with story, it's insane. Even this quiet house, I feel, has a story behind it, and I love wondering about what that story is.

3. William Hogarth, Marriage a La Mode- Scene II: Shortly After Marriage

Speaking of stories! William Hogarth is the man. Painting in the 18th century, he's pretty much one of the first serial cartoonists, making series of paintings that tell often cynical and scandalous stories about terrible people leading terrible lives. It's like fine art as a reality TV show. I saw an exhibit of his work in London and it's just...awesome. Every picture is incredibly rich in detail and they read almost like mini-plays. This print is the second in a seven-part series detailing a marriage of convenience that devolves into death, madness and all kind of adultery. Good times! As you can tell from the black dot on the tired man, he already has syphilis.

4. Van Gogh, Vase of Roses

The problem with Van Gogh is that I don't think his painting photograph remarkably well because part of what makes them so fascinating is their texture. This is a man who, in between cutting ears and going wonky, really liked to lay on paint, and when you stand in front of one of his pieces it's hard to resist the urge to run your hands over them. This is a painting that's in the Met and, I think, a particularly good example of what I'm talking about. Next time you're in New York, go investigate.

5. Rene Magritte, Empire of Light

Settling on the last picture was rough (what about Vermeer? Renoir? Sundry others?), but I love love love this picture. It has an element of a children's book about it, and yet is still so simple and elegant and I love the juxtaposition of night/day. What you can't see in the picture here, and can only really see in person, is that there are things in the dark. To the right of the house is a gate that leads into a garden, and it's impossible to explain how you can see that, but you can. you wind up kind of falling into this picture, and accepting the reality it creates.

Now on to less artistic endeavors...

(good morning)

Routemaster by essexdiver via the Londonist Flickrpool.

And You Can Quote Me - Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie (Peter Breaks Through)

"All children, except one, grow up."

"You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end."

"The way Mr. Darling won her was this: the many gentlemen who had been boys when she was a girl discovered simultaneously that they loved her, and they all ran to her house to propose to her except Mr. Darling, who took a cab and nipped in first, and so he got her."

"He was one of those deep ones who knew about stocks and shares. Of course, no one really knows, but he quite seemed to know, and he often said stocks were up and shares were down in a way that would have made any woman respect him."

"When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind; and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on."

"Of course the Neverlands vary a good deal. John's, for instance, had a lagoon with flamingos flying over it at which John was shooting, while Michael, who was still very small, had a flamingo with lagoons flying over it. John lived in a boat turned upside down on the sands, Michael in a wigwam, Wendy in a house of leaves deftly sewn together. John had no friends, Michael had friends at night, Wendy had a wolf cub forsaken by its parents; but on the whole Neverlands have a family resemblance, and if they stood in a row you could say of them they have each other's nose and so forth. On these magic shores children at play are forever breaching their coracles. We too have been there; we can still hear the sound of the surf, though we shall land no more."

Staying Out of Trouble Abroad

I'll admit it, this Amanda Knox thing has got me a bit wigged. I haven't been following the trial very closely, so I don't know what kind of evidence she was convicted on, but I can't help but feel a sense of "there but for the grace of God..." when reading about her accounts. Not so much because the drug and orgy aspect, but because she was an American student studying abroad and may, in fact, be innocent. Who knows? The idea of getting in legal trouble in a country not my own terrifies me, so good thing Gawker posted this handy list of ways to avoid such a predicament.

Words to live by.

Five Problems with 'Dollhouse'

Virginia got a healthy dusting of snow on Saturday, which gave me an excellent chance to catch up with Joss Whedon's 'Dollhouse.' The show is in its second season, but has been cancelled, and now Fox is burning through the remaining episodes two at time to get it all over with as soon as possible. Having seen many, many episodes of 'Buffy' and being a diehard lover of 'Firefly,' I don't feel 'Dollhouse' lived up to either of these previous projects. Here are five things I would have changed:

1. Eliza Dushku. This is both the most obvious problem and the biggest, in my mind. Dushku may be hot, but she's also horrible. I know she's a Whedon favorite, but why oh why? She's like Sci-Fi television's Mariah Gale. The girl can't act. And this is especially problematic/apparent in a show whose premise is based on a) the fact that the characters become completely different people each episode and b) the character of Echo/Caroline is supposed to have a mystic draw when it comes to all of the other characters (see point 2). To make matters even worse, Enver Gjokaj is just hands down AMAZING (troublesome RP accent aside), and any time Victor and Echo share an episode, Dushku's failings become even more apparent.

2. The Ballard/Caroline dynamic. Tiresome. Whedon kind of likes to mess with his audience, which is why the savior complex Ballard's ex-FBI agent feel towards Echo is given such a creepy undertone (which, though a clever angle, I don't think is taken far enough), but even that isn't enough to satisfactorily distract from the fact that this central through line is so incredibly done. I was over it the moment Ballard got a photograph and a name, and it was extra frustrating when paired with the genuinely intriguing Mellie relationship. This is much like the Enver/Eliza contrast...Whedon gives us something worthwhile, but makes it secondary to something tired, vaguely cliched and far more mainstream. Of course, if you had a more compelling actress playing Echo, it could have worked out well, but I find Dushku to have all the charisma of a Canal Street handbag, and so that someone should fixate on her is, to me, completely unbelievable and makes that through line feel even more like a kind of tried-and-true gimmick as opposed to an organic relationship between the characters.

3. Lack of humor. If you watched 'Firefly' you know that Whedon is more than capable of balancing intrigue and danger with laugh out loud funny ("I swear by my pretty little bonnet I will end you."), but the world of 'Dollhouse' is far too earnest and takes itself far too seriously to allow for such a balance, it seems. Not to say the show doesn't have it's funny moments, but they originate almost entirely from the neuroses of the chief programmer, Topher (if you saw the second of last week's episodes you will probably agree with me that the Tophers were among the best things ever, and further proof that Gjokaj is just phenomenal), or from some kind of neurological mix-up (Topher and Adele's deep discussion of brown sauce, Gjokaj's hilarious accidental turn as Kiki). When the humorous moments come, they are a joy, but there is also something obvious about them, as if Whedon realizes he owes us a few laughs. They don't always feel natural and there aren't enough of them. I understand this is not a "funny" show, but I don't know that the truly serious episodes are strong enough to stand on their own (with the possible exception of Epitaph One), especially when they are anchored around...you guessed it, Eliza Dushku. Seriously, so much could be fixed if she wasn't the anchor.

4. Epitaph One. This is a tricky problem to get into, and I know I probably stand alone, but Epitaph One really came close to ruining the second season for me. Released as DVD extra, there are 'Dollhouse' watches who have never seen this episode, and I envy them. As a stand alone, it is pretty phenomenal, and I love me some Felicia Day, but to release it ahead of the second season was, I think, a mistake. It takes place in the future and gives us a picture of what the Dollhouse's technology has done to our planet and society. Fascinating stuff, but the fast-forward ruins the suspense of the second's seasons episodes since we see the end result of all of the characters relationships. True, we don't know how they got there, but I don't know that I particularly care. It strikes the journey as hollow, like knowing the final score of a sporting event. Sure, there may still be exciting plays, but they lose a lot since you know the outcome.

Victoria loves the episode because she likes seeing the clues to the future and knowing where they lead to, and maybe that's most people. For me, I much prefer to be kept in the dark and try to figure out myself untile all is revealed, and then go back and look for the hints I missed the first time around. Had there been no second season, Epitaph One would have been a great way to answer questions and provide a stop to the series. Instead, it takes the fun out of it.

5. All of the above. I know, this sounds like a total cop-out fifth problem, but let me explain. This show has incredible promise. There are episodes that leave me totally floored (who else totally freaked out when the phone rang and Adele's voice calmly proclaimed 'There are three flowers in a vase. the third flower is green."? Blew my mind) and, despite my problems with the second season (see previous point), they are really getting interesting with the ways to screw with Echo (Echo as a mother and the serial killer episode were both incredibly cool). Adele is a kick-ass woman, Mellie was a welcome addition to the "I look like a real person" stable of television actresses and the secondary characters are incredibly interesting/compelling (Enver Gjokaj! I can't say that enough). But, I have not recommended it to a single person. Because, for all of it's potential, it doesn't come together. I find the holes just too big, and to get to a place where you do become interested and invested is more of a commitment than I think is worth it. I would say, at this point, at least a quarter of the episodes I could do without, most of which come from the first season and the complicated nature of the plot makes it vital you watch them all.

It was a cool premise, and sometimes succeeds, but too much of the good is too far undermined by the bad. When it goes off the air in January, I can't say I'll be crushed. I certainly won't be surprised.

It's That Time of Year

Usually, I add this to my AIM profile, but since the advent of Gchat, I'm never signed on any more. But! traditions must be followed and thus, my feathered friends, the 'Love Actually' profile lives on in blog form...

With any luck, by next year
I'll be going out with one of these k i d s.
But for now, let me say
Without hope or agenda
Just because it's Christmas
And at Christmas you tell the truth
To me, you are perfect
And my wasted heart will love you
Until you look like this.


Merry Christmas.

The West Wing Didn't Go Away, It Just Got Elected

A brilliant Jezebel.com commenter sees the Salahis through a Sorkin lense:

It would open with Toby and Sam holding a copy of the Washington Post with the
partycrashers pictures on the cover.
Toby: "Do you see what this is?"
Sam: "That would appear to be a very blonde lady in a Sari with the Vice
President."
Toby: (louder) DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS?
Sam: (peering
closer) Party crashers? Here? (more to himself) I didn't even know that was
possible.
Toby: PARTY CRASHERS. AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
Sam: (still to
himself) How'd they get past the secret service?
Toby: That's what everyone
is going to want to know. GINGER!

-cut to Leo's office with Sam and
Toby-
Toby: Leo, have you seen this?
Leo: Seen what? It's earlier Toby.
-Toby hands over paper-
Leo: Is this what I think it is?
Sam: It
depends what you think it is.
Leo: IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS?
Sam: If
you think it's two reality tv show wannabes who managed to slip past 4 layers of
secret service security to crash the state dinner, as the kids are saying these
days, then yes.
Leo: -withering look- MARGARET!

I feel like it would
be one of President Bartlett's good days - where the staff would be all atwitter
and freaking out and Leo would be yelling at people like crazy to figure out
"how these LUNATICS got past the people who are not even supposed to let a
SPEEDING BULLET get to the president and have prevented 32 assassination
attempts this year alone!"

Cut to Donna pacing frantically outside
Josh's office, and when he finally looks up to ask her what's wrong she rushes
in and just word vomits all over him:
Josh: Yes?
Donna: So you know how
my sister's cousin's veterinarian's brother had that polo association?
Josh:
No, but go on.
Donna: Well... they contacted me a couple days ago but
getting an invitation to this party and I told them that I didn't have any say
in it but I could try to finagle them an invitation and-
Josh: DONNA.
Donna: Yes Josh?
Josh: I'm going to hope I'm getting this wrong, but are
you telling me that you invited this couple to the party?
Donna: No! That's
what I wanted to tell you! I told them I DIDN'T have an invitation for them but
they showed up anyways!
Josh: Uh - okay. Just - just go do something and let
me figure this out. Get me Toby.
Donna: Josh?
Josh: Yeah Donna?
Donna: Are you mad at me?
Josh: I'm - no. Just - Just get Toby.

Toby: It was DONNA?
Josh: It was Donna. Rather it wasn't Donna, but
it was Donna.

As Josh is leaving (wrapping his scarf around his neck) he
runs in Danny Kincade walking out.
"Danny, walk with me."
"What's going
on Josh?"
"This party crashers story - is this still going to be big
tomorrow?"
"Well, considering how everyone's going to be talking about how
the secret service let someone gatecrash the party? Yes."

Something
MAJOR happens though (like a speech on Afghanistan? Repercussions from another
charming side story? A legislative healthcare battle prominently featuring
Abby?) and this gets brushed to the side, just checking in on staff every now
and then to remind us of this storyline.

And then at the end of the
episode, President Bartlett would come in from a charming weekend with Abby in
Vermont, in his dad jeans and a sweatshirt, put on his reading glasses and get
briefed, look over them at the person who's getting most of the blame (my guess
would be Donna) and say, "You - have you learned your lesson?"
"Yes Mr.
President"
"Good. Next time make sure no more weasels get in. We have enough
Republicans crawling around this place. Has the Secret Service been interviewed?
Have security policies been overhauled?"
"Yes Mr. President."
"Good. Now
I don't want to hear another word about this nonsense. We have a country to run,
and the situation in Izbekistan isn't going to resolve itself. You're dismissed.
Leo - you stay."
"Yes Mr. President?"
-laughing-"They actually crashed
the White House State Dinner?"
"Yes, Mr. President."
"Well, why aren't
you laughing, Leo?"
"Because Sir, this is a serious matter! You could have
been killed or worse!"
"Leo... if these (waves hands around with reading
glasses) fameballs got their 15 seconds of fame, I don't want to give them
anymore. Let the secret service deal with them. I'm going to bed - and you
should get some sleep to. Tell Mallory we expect to see her for Christmas."
"Yes sir, Mr. President, Good night Mr. President"