Yes, Please

I've previously mentioned that I am a snob when it comes to movie posters, preferring graphics to photos and striking, simple designs to cluttered ones.

I haven't seen it yet, but these re-imaginings of the 'Black Swan' poster? To die for.

Or maybe lose your sanity and think you're a swan for. As I said, I haven't seen the movie.

LEAD FEMALE'S NAME

And You Can Quote Me: Reality Bites

Lelaina: I was really going to be somebody by the time I was 23.
Troy: Honey, all you have to be by the time you're 23 is yourself.
Lelaina: I don't know who that is anymore.
Troy: I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again, but I love her.

Dear Christian Bale

Dear Christian Bale,

According to Wikipedia, when it comes to Newsies you are "not a fan of the film." About it you reportedly said, "Time healed those wounds. But it took a while." To which I say:

Get over yourself.

"Time healed those wounds"? Really? You're talking about a Disney musical you made when you were 17. You sang, you danced, you used a terrible accent. You were 17. When I was 17, I was wearing skater pants, Doc Marten's and had a pacifier on my key chain, yet I seem to be able to talk about it without it sounding like I lost my mother in a wildebeest stampede or found my spouse sleeping with the mailman. And yes, okay, so my teenage follies were not committed to film. I doubt my teenage follies ever inspired drinking games, or sing-alongs from the beach or even performed the simple task of making a 23 year old temp worker feel better about her day. My teenage follies did not bring the masses unbridled joy.

I mean, really. Get over yourself. There are worse things you could have been than the King of New York.

Are you really so humorless that you can't enjoy the fact that you were part of this movie? This ludicrous ridiculous, wonderful movie beloved by everyone I know (and probably most people born between 1984 and 1990). Is that really such a blight on your past? You auditioned for Batman and Robin, for Chrissake. You were in that atrocious A Midsummer Night's Dream. You provided a voice for Pocahontas. Has time healed those wounds, I wonder?

I want to like you. Love you, even. You are beautiful and talented and in a host of my favorite movies. Henry V! Little Women! The Prestige! YOU'RE BATMAN FOR F%&*^'S SAKE! It's like you hand-tailored your resume to pluck at my heart strings. But you know what that resume includes? Yeah, that's right. Newsies.

I want to like you, but you make it so hard, what with your vocally abusing that sound guy and the accused assault and the fact that I never see you smile. You were so charming as Laurie! So adorable as the one of Falstaff's boys! And seemed to be having so much fun as Jack Kelly. So why, Christian, why must you push this past of yours away from you? Is it so terrible that before you became a "serious actor" you had a little fun?

Come back, Christian. We miss you, here, in Notajerktopia.

Still jealous of Sarah after all these years,

emma

Shakespeare Movie Marathon

Woke up on Saturday full of vigor and planning to do many a constructive thing with my weekend, and was greeted with sheets of rain cascading down upon my little town, promptly sapping me of all energy. After some debate as to how to amend my plans, it struck me that there are many holes in my cinematic Shakespeare eduction and so decided that remedying this would be the new focus of my weekend.

I went out to Barnes & Noble during a brief gap in the downpour and came back only to find that the storm had completely abated and the sun was shining. I forged ahead with my plans.

O: I will include this in the recap though it was actually viewed on Friday evening during a room-cleaning spree and therefore lies outside my marathons plans. O was made in 1999, with release being pushed back until 2001 due to outbreak of school violence at the time (including the Columbine shooting). Starring Mekhi Phifer, Josh Hartnett and Julia Stiles, it's a modern language adaptation of Shakespeare's Othello set in what appears to be a present-day North Carolina boarding school.

I found the translation to be quite clever. in this new telling Othello becomes Odin James, star basketball player, with Hugo (Iago) and Michael Cassio (Cassio) his fellow players. Odin, or O, is dating the dean's daughter, Desi (Desdemona), the object of affection for school outcast Rodger (Roderigo). Hugo is slighted when O chooses to share his MVP prize with Michael and thus the events of the play are set into motion.

Where the movies strength's really lie is in the cleverness of the detail. The race question is tamped down, though its setting below the Mason-Dixon allows for it to still have some impact. Hugo is the coach's son, which, coupled with some acknowledged but not overblown steroid use, explains his 'motiveless malignancy.' Rodger's persecution at the hands of the jocks, including Michael, strengthens the idea that he could be driven to killing. Throughout the whole movie, Shakespeare's words are cleverly updated to fit the time and yet contain an echo of the original work.

As an exercise in Shakespeare adaptation, I thought it was quite entertaining and enjoyable. I have no idea if others will find it so, but if you're writing a paper or studying Othello, I would definitely recommend.

Julius Caesar: A 1953 version of Julius Caesar with John Gielgud, Marlon Brando AND Deborah Kerr? Count me in.

The movie was pretty much exactly what you would expect from that description. No great fiddling with the text, black and white, everyone in togas and armor reminiscent of the plastic kids sets you can buy at Renn Fairs. Still, the language is remarkable, and even if James Mason is a little emo as a conflicted Brutus, Gielgud's Cassius is delightfully scheming and Brando's Anthony great fun. The dueling eulogies are a masterwork of writing and aptly played as such by the two actors. Only Shakespeare can make the word "honorable" becomes so horrid.

Henry V: Out of all of my imaginary boyfriends, no one holds my heart like Kenneth Branagh, which is why it shocked so many people to learn I had never seen Henry V, his first and most celebrated Shakespeare adaptation. Upon watching it, my love tripled. It is glorious. Not so much wildly innovative (though the use of the brilliant Derek Jacobi as chorus was an inspired stroke) and brilliantly clear compelling story telling. Its strength lies in its simplicity and its performances and...i just can't say enough good things about it.

So instead of prattling on, I'll let you watch a bit for yourself:



...right? Right? I know.

But remember, he's mine.